We can't be there for others if we are drowning with them.

 

24.09.26

 

Around 5 years ago when on a visit to my home island Alderney, I awoke early from a very vivid and intense dream of being on an Egyptian Nile river boat that was sinking, I was holding my breath underwater and helping people escape as this boat was going down.

This was before I had physically been to Egypt and didn't know much about the place apart from it had lots of ancient history and that the pyramids where there. I knew from the dream, as it felt so real, exactly where it was and what kind of boat it was. 

It was around 4am so I got up and checked the news to see if there had been a sinking of a Nile boat, as I thought maybe I'd been adventuring in my sleep or had 'seen' something that had already happened, or was going to happen.

There were no reports to be found but it gave me the confirmation that it was definitely a Nile river boat, and was Egypt as the pictures I found were identical to my dream.

Around 3 years later I was then at a Sassafrass medicine ceremony weekend in Essex UK, and during the sharing circle on the last day, one of the facilitiators mentioned they were hosting an initiatiation journey to Egypt in 6 months time, I instantly knew I had to go. 

When we arrived in Aswan after our flight from Cairo, we got off the bus by the river to go for lunch at the Jamaican Rasta restaurant. I then saw many of the same river boats parked up alongside eachother that were in my dream those few years ago.

I'd completely forgotten about this dream until now and just seeing them there started to bring up intense fear and emotion.

Long story short, it caused me to have an unexpected process and a lovely sister Fran came and comforted me while I worked through it.

Around 2 weeks before I'd set off on this journey to Egypt, another mentor / friend had put out an offering on her Facebook, of an upcoming journey to Egypt called 'Alchemy of Water, Blue Printing the Blue Nile'.

It aligned perfectly date wise to the end of the journey I'd already signed up for; 'Prayer of Peace', meaning I'd be able to finish Prayer of Peace, make the 'Grand Return' full moon pyramid ceremony in the Great Pyramid. (hosted by a Sister who I knew from the Mary Magdeline School). Then be able to have a day in Cairo before beginning the 2 week Alchemy of Water tour.

This meant I was in Egypt for a total of a month during October 2024 and I entered the Great pyramid in that month on 4 seperate occations.

I'm pretty good at following my intuition and it was a big yes to this one as well. I even had to borrow funds from my Mother to pay for it as it stretched me financially, but I knew I needed to be there.

This second journey however included 4 days on one of the Nile boats, so I had some resistance but trusted. 

I made it back alive, well and had much integration to do on my return. Life has never been the same since coming back from the Land of Kem, as I'm sure anyone who has been, will know. 

A year later I was invited to another initiation in Egypt, hosted by a brother and medicine man from South America, who bought his magic to Malta and is connected to the Malta / Gozo community.

My familial (blood) Brother and I went on this journey together, last December 2025 ( it was actually Sekhmet that told us we had to go, another story for another day ).

During this 2 week trip, which also included 4 days on a Nile boat, while in the area of Abydoss, I had the same dream again of being on a sinking Nile boat, underwater holding my breath and helping others escape.

Knowing we had the Nile boat part of our journey coming up soon, I was praying that I wasn't getting a 'premonition' of something to come. I shared my dream in the group's WhatsApp chat and someone said 'perhaps a past life dream from Atlantis?' But I knew that wasn't it. 

I sat with it for a couple of days and I kept getting the message that it's symbolic / metaphorical.

This brings me back to the title of this post. I realised the dream was trying to tell me that I couldn't help the people around me, while I was drowning with them.

It was asking me to create better boundaries and take the space I needed for myself, rather than being everyone's healer / savior / punching bag, while getting to the point of exhaustion, even getting really bad flu symptoms on the first day of our pilgrimage, not knowing if I could carry on. (Amazingly I took a day to myself sleeping in the hotel room and recovered enough to finish the 2 weeks).

I have since learnt that in the bible, the story of the slaves being freed from Egypt is metaphorical for each of us being liberated and freed from evil and the chains / bondage of the physical world, as Egypt represents 'the material world of bondage'.

So it's significant to me that even before I'd physically been to Egypt, a dream of being in a boat sinking there and helping others escape, was used to get a message across to me, I just didn't have the awareness / knowledge to interpret it at the time. 

I've done my fair share of inner work to liberate myself, most of it behind closed doors, in private with God / Universe as my witness... trusting that this is laying the groundwork and foundations for what is to come. 

Hopefully this story is another example of how if we don't consciously choose ourselves and take that time we need, trusting that ourselves and our loved ones will be okay and that God / Universe is looking after everyone, our bodies or life will choose for us.

 

Here's to the slaves being freed from Egypt...

Enchala

Much love,

 

Laura xx

 

 

 

 

In and Out, entering the land of Canaan.

 

20.09.2026

 

~ The path of the pilgrim pays off, when you devote your life to pilgrimage you will be blessed . ~

Balancing the inner and outer realities has been something I've been learning to master throughout my life, and a more conscious experience since I left my business 10 years ago.
If each person is their own Universe and we contain the same elements that make up the stars, then how can anyone else rightly judge or know what is truly best for us, if they haven't '' walked a mile or few in our shoes ''?.

After my pilgrimage across the USA earlier this year starting in Miami early May, then flying back to Europe from Los Angeles for a continued 3 week journey from Paris down to Southern France, taking a coach along the south coast of France into Italy, staying in Rome for 4 days, and then flying up to Berlin for a week, before having just over a month back on the home bases of Gozo and Malta, where I have been 'stationed' since 2020.
The last place I expected to be guided to next, was back to the North American continent in the same year. Nevertheless I was very happy and excited about this next one, as Canada holds a big space in my heart and I often yearn to be back on these lands.
I've just spent the last week in Montreal and have loved seeing the French Canadian way of doing things.
I stayed in a cosy hostel and it felt good to be around people after a lot of alone time and self introspection / solo planetary grid work throughout this year so far.
After a 5/6 hour boarder entry, I was glad to arrive at my warm, homely accomodation and felt welcomed and comfortable straight away.

I was also staying right near a beautiful church with a giant Mother Mary statue next to 2 angelic figures on top (pictured above) and the other side a gold figure of MM, which is apparently on top of Montreal's oldest archeological site and located in the old town district by the port on Saint Paul Street. He is a companion of mine and we seemed to have built a slow and steady bond since I arrived on Malta.

Partially due to waiting for funds to arrive in my account and partially due to divine guidance, on my first day in the French city, I entered into my longest yet and first 7 day fast.
All I had during that time was one apple and one avocado, with hot chocolates and matcha lattes with plant milk, chamomile tea, my own urine / plasma (yes it's a thing) and water with green nutrient powder throughout the day.
I have been prepared for this over the last few years and actually really enjoyed it, feeling much more connected to myself and focused than my usual food intake.
They say the average human can last 7 weeks without food and I was still able to wake up early, jog 4/7 mornings, do gentle yoga, explore the downtown area and attend my new Being True to You course lectures / workshops throughout the week.

It's also said that fasting is the 'atomic bomb' weapon for this spiritual warfare we find ourselves in and as much as I love food and eating, I have found this to be true.
Usually I'll just do 2/3 days fasting here and there when guided, so this 7 days certainly upped my game, but was very much worth it.

It seems very aligned to be returning to Canada at this time and is exactly 9 years since I sold my beauty therapy business and flew to Vancouver, Canada with a 2 year working visa.

Finding a ski season job as a cashier and cleaner for the mountain restaurant at the top of Whistler mountain.

We got the benefits of ski passes and discounts in the restaurants, shops and bars in the village by working for the company, so am eternally grateful to have got that job. It was tough on the system and 1 season was enough for me, big respects to some people I met who do that job year after year.
Then when the snow melted I purchased my own Jeep Liberty and took myself to Banff to stay with a friend, then Vancouver island for some road tripping, volunteering and exploring the wilderness throughout the summer. Canada is a true paradise in the Summer!

At the end of the ski season I also got to fulfill my dream of attending Coachella festival with two friends who I lived with at the Whistler mountain staff housing. We drove down from Vancouver to LA over 3 days, driving 10 hours each day. Picked up our friend in LA, then drove to Palm Springs for the 4 day festival... Onwards and inland to the Grand Canyon, back to San Francisco and up the Pacific coast highway back to Vancouver over a 2 week period.

The lady who I bought the vehicle from warned me not to take the vehicle further than an hour from Whistler as they only used it for short journeys to and from work but I chose to follow the flow, trust and we made it back, just with my speedometer breaking 2 days in, so having no idea how fast we were going for most of the journey.

This car eventually came to a sad end and was written off towards the end of my 2 year visa. Luckily I was fine, it was a big wake up call and learned a lot from the whole experience.

Order out of Chaos.

Looking back, my soul was craving space and alone time to contemplate and process all I had been through and after leaving my home island and comfort zone, intense emotions and grief that I hadn't processed started to arise.

I didn't know what was happening at the time and was fighting and resisting this at first, but I have found If we don't consciously choose to create space in our life to tend to our inner world, life will make it happen eventually.
We can have busy lives and bury our emotions and issues for so long, until we no longer can.

Being in Canada was a deeply healing, rewilding and awakening time for me...

As I learnt to surrender and trust that I wasn't alone, the right people, situations, books and tools came to me at exactly the right time to aid this unravelling and intuitive process of putting myself back together and to keep joyfully going on the continuous journey of knowing thyself and 'remembering' who I am.

It was boldly shown to me through many signs and synchronicities that there was a divine hand leading and guiding the way.
You could say soul, higher self, God, Source, Creator, divine intelligence, guides. To me these are all words pointing to a presence and force greater than our rational, human minds can currently comprehend, and it's there for all of us if we surrender, allow, choose to follow and pay attention.

I'm currently staying in a residential area of the Laval, 30 mins outside of the city and it's interesting to me that the theme / title that came through for this blog post as I was walking today was '' in out / balance '', as as well as it being the Autumn Equinox in the next few days, I just realised that Laval is spelt the same front to back & back to front, to me representing harmony and equal balance. ( Laval ~ Laval.). A nice sign I'm on the right track. 

Am also currently staying on the main Notre Dame highway between two parks with stone circles which were a fun place to play some flute and leave a few sacred objects as offerings that I didn't feel I needed anymore.

Heading onwards West soon for this continuous Canadian pilgrimage. What an honour to traverse this mysterious and fulfilling path! 

 

May you find your inner and outer balance too and find the courage to release what no longer serves you, embracing the void and allowing space for the new.

 

 

Au Revoir for now and A Bientot...

Much love,

Laura 

 

 

 

All that's hidden shall be revealed... 

23.05.26

Below * are legal afadavits with statements suggesting that high up peeps in our own governments and authorities are committing horrendous crimes against humanity.

I came to this information through satanic ritual abuse survivor; Jessie Czebotar's content, also listed below with her website.

(⚠️ Shocking content, at a young age she was involved in rituals with Elon Musk, other world leaders and was one of the rare people who managed to resist much of the abuse and escape).

* https://timothycharlesholmseth.com/got-away-with-murder-nope/

https://www.kingdomlivingwithjessie.com/

Interviews with Jessie

https://youtu.be/poyN7e-i2-4?si=ZDx6OYzRnNSudlPo

https://youtu.be/ARYJ5TOZohY?si=N8rEvfiOdEwij5gJ 

 

 

 

26.03.26

 

Wild ride and longer update. 

 

Wow, it's been a while since I've had the space, time and felt settled enough to write my blog. Life itself is a wild ride, but the last few years have been especially wild for me.

Since leaving my last apartment on Gozo, which I loved so much as it felt like a cave/ temple, had a working well and birthing 'womb' room... I followed the call, put all my belongings into my storage garage and flew to Australia, to reunite with women and whales on the east coast between K'Gari island and Hervey Bay.

For the 2nd year running I was privileged to spend 4 days out on a boat, be in close proximity to humpback whales and spend time in the water with them.

Auntie Karen, an Aboriginal elder / land custodian from the Butchulla tribe, hosted an on land pre-boat journey ceremony for us, we all received a blessing and permission to do our work, retreat and go out on the water.

Just as we were pulling out from our space in the harbour, I was sitting at the front of the boat with two ladies and a large sea turtle came and popped its head up, took a breath and looked directly at us and acknowledged us. This felt like such a blessing, and as if to communicate... ' it's time, come on then, lets go '. 

After my whale experience I flew to Lisbon and spent 2 weeks in Portugal for a friend's 40th group gathering / mini festival called Hiraeth, and had some time exploring with my brother.

Then I made my way to Sark, a tiny island next to my home island Alderney, in the Channel Islands.

It was then time for the first offical 'Rose pilgrimage' through southern France, where we visited St Marie De La Mere, St. Baume monastry and had a special ceremony in Mary Magdeline's chappel on top of the mountain (dragon). 

My most recent assignments have included a month in Egypt over Christmas and New Year, a 2 week initiation and then some time in Dahab with my brother over Xmas and NY, this was my 2nd time in these lands in two years and both times I used my full months tourist visa.

We are not fighting with guns or physical weapons but in my experience with these groups and retreats, there are energies and forces that don't want us to succeed in what ever mission our group is there for, or seem to attempt to cause drama / friction within the group. 

Although I managed to get through it mostly unscathed, It taught me that I needed to level up my energetic boundaries, spiritual protection and prayer practice.

Interestingly, since doing this, a few relationships have fallen away or felt less aligned in my life. 

I get to sit with a deep sense of gratitude for life, joy and soul fulfilment.

I am very grateful right now that life has given me some time out from going abroad.

In the last year I've contended with my auntie passing away, and my Mother getting a cancer diagnosis, so focusing back on myself has been very needed and therapeutic.

Also enjoying the last bit of time I have with Nanu, my dear white Toyota LiteAce van, that has been my baby and companion since 2022. I've had many adventures and sleeps in this van with my dog, plus trips exploring all corners of Malta and Gozo. It is time now for my chapter with him to end. 

I have also been contemplating on what life would and could have been like, if I took up some of the offers, of attempted recruitment I've had from the armed forces. 

While at a local pub during the wake of my aunties funeral, a good family friend that I hadn't seen for years, who works for both the British Armed Forces / RAF and Embassy for Rome/ Malta, said he knew I lived on Gozo now, and that it was close to Malta, would I be interested in a job?

Lets just say I'm grateful that I had the awareness to politely turn down these 'tempting' offers and would rather be doing my work from this angle.

The Mary Magdelene School Cyprus teachings and meditations, which unintentionally coincided with my first journey to Cyprus last month have been very supportive and illuminating during this time. 

(link to their programmes and courses under the 'Mary Magdalene's Great Passage into the New Earth' tab).

After Egypt, I went straight to Southampton UK, to be close to my Mother, while she underwent some Chemo and Radiotherapy' treatments. 

I spent 6 years close to this area while at boarding school from age 11-16. So it was familiar and felt good to cover my tracks again, experiencing what it was like to be there as a more independent, adult human. 

After a month in Southampton, I then carried on with my grid work mission through the UK to London, then West on the train to Bath Spa and Glastonbury.

It was here I got the clear call and message that it was time to go Cyprus, and booked a week in Larnaca, somewhere I'd been wanting to visit for a while. 

 

 

Wishing you a beautiful, blessed and prosperous year ahead...

 

 

 

13.08.23

The Joys of Shadow Work, Its Where the Actual Gold is, although it's not always fun or glamorous when done sincerely. 

This work of individuation is predicted be the name of the game if we wish to thrive in the times to come Luminous Ones....

''Awareness of Ego, the inner reflection, processing work & shadow work is crucial, not just ideal if you are to be sincere and maintain integrity while on the awakening, ascension, embodiment journey.''

 

After a conversation I was having recently with a friend, he said to me '' what do you think will happen when everyone realises they're part of God & how powerful they are, can get what ever they want & and that they're creating their own reality? '' at the time my answer was: well our own discernment of other's intentions will be important. Are they doing the 'shadow' work to align with the divine, or will they create from a place of trauma, control and fear? I also feel awareness of our own shadow, projections and ego side, will be vital to not let it go to our heads and to stay humble and grounded.

In basic terms... if quantum physics is right, collectively and personally, our own external outer reality, what we see, experience or perceive, effects and reflects our inner reality - this lifetime, other lifetimes and the collective unconscious.... beliefs, perceptions, traumas. 

This concept makes me ponder... how much of this is our own creation, and how much is random chaos that we have to fire fight and just endure, perhaps karma? 

So in basic terms, if we can find the courage to look within at our own triggers, fears and suffering,  with our own 'inner war or battle', then our outer world will reflect that. 

One way to think of this is for example... I kept attracting partners or friends that betray or abandon me. When not engaged in the inner work you may go to blaming them and complaining, but keep repeating the cycle in victim mode.

 

Seeing life through the New Earth empowered abundant state of being I would say to myself... 'What is it in me that's attracting this kind of partner?' I realised that I had been abandoning and betraying myself in many situations. This isn't your fault if you're not aware of what's going on. Our past pain body will keep us in these patterns & cycles if we don't consciously feel through things as they come up.

That's not to say there aren't toxic or dangerous people out there who will try to manipulate us and people who are in very hard situations through no fault of their own. I can honestly say in the situations I've had with 'narcissistic' partners, friends or family, at the time there was still trauma, a childhood wound or something in me that was still toxic that thought that was normal or something I was worthy of or deserved.

I would do anything so they wouldn't leave or abandon me, including abandon my own needs & self!

Co-dependence at it's best. I also didn't really know how to own my truth, say no or stand up for myself. My people pleasing tendencies led the way most of the time.

But... with all this introspection and self awareness it does take a lot of energy and consciousness so we must go easy on ourselves. Its a process of undoing the conditioning, programming and learnt behaviours that have been passed down to us.

This situation we find ourselves in is no fault of our own & we have chosen this on a soul level for us to learn, develop & grow. Unfortunately the majority of people on the planet struggle to feed, house themselves, let alone focus on healing their own pain and trauma.

 

 

I was also sparked to think about this topic again a few days ago after listening to an amazing podcast episode with Dr. Kelly Brogan Own Yourself, Authentically with Dr. Kelly Brogan - YouTube and author of 'A mind of your own'.

She openly admits that for years she's been covertly (unconsciously) getting her own needs met, by helping others, finding the enemy externally, and playing the rescuer, hero role.

It doesn't take away from her ground breaking work, research and the people she's helped, but it does show that when we start paying attention to our own inner reality without distracting ourselves (with work, food, seeing friends, TV, social media, addictions etc) and clean up our own lives and family unit -  i.e. having therapy, uncomfortable conversations, feeling, presence etc - is there still there same forceful drive to help others & save the world?

It may not be a comfortable realisation but since I've started paying attention and being there for my inner world, needs & child, when I help others, it's because I truly want to and from a place of genuine care, love & overflow.

No more obligation or have to or shoulds.

The New Earth doesn't have room for these outdated, disempowering energies. In this paradigm we give & do from a place of wanting to and knowing its benefitting the greater good. When we do 'the great work' or shadow work, this is alchemy and we naturally start to become connected to our higher self, connected to source and able to align with divine wil.

 

If you resonate with this information and wish to engage in your own active shadow process, I can highly recommend Bernhard and Laura's (The Veil of Reality) short course Embodied Shadow Work & The Path Of Individuation (thinkific.com) 

 

Much Love

 

 

 

Has body dysmorphia been normalised?

''According to Google, Body Dysmorphia is a mental health condition, characterized by an intense, obsessive preoccupation with one or more perceived, minor, or imagined flaws in physical appearance, such as skin, hair, or nose. It causes significant distress and compulsive behaviors, like mirror checking or social isolation, that disrupts daily life''.

This topic was put in the spotlight for me recently as I picked up a magazine when shopping a few weeks ago... which are both quite rare occasions now, with the front page heading....

''When we care about more what we look like during the meeting, than the content of the meeting.''

I have experienced deep self loathing and wanting to change things about myself, I only used to be able to go out of the house with make up on, straightening my hair and fake tan until my mid - late 20s, where I started to enjoy outdoor life more, camping and focused less on my appearance or whether people admired the way I looked that day.

It's as if I was able; through nature and following my soul, heal the inner wounds, layers of doubt and fear that made me see myself in a certain way to purge, purify and change the lense of perception I saw myself and life through. 

 We can get all the external work done and endless beauty products, but if we don't look at the deeper reasons as to why we are searching for this, we may get manipulated into decisions that aren't coming from our own or whole truth. 

 

 

 

 

 

updated 08/01/2025

True Love Liberates

 Mary Magdelene is all about True Love and  Liberation... (as well as many other things)

 

The latest pieces of my own healing journey have been around becoming aware of & clearing darker or 'negative' past lives. This isn't something I'm consciously choosing, but on a soul level ready to release some of this now, and the right people & situations have arisen to support the journey.

This all sounds INTENSE right?! Well yes it is. But it's worth it and has huge significance and purpose I feel not just personally, but collectively & ancestorally. 

The last time I had a full time job was for a Whistler Blackcomb mountain during their 2017/18 Winter season... since then I've done some bar work in the local pubs on my home island and worked in a hotel spa for a few months when i first moved to Malta 5 years ago, but mostly I've worked for myself, offering treatments either mobile or remotely.

I've found that once I've made the decision or taken the step & sometimes risk into the unknown but following my soul, support will come. Sometimes at the last minute so it does take a shit load of trust. But it's a muscle that can be worked and the more you do it, you know so deeply that you're supported and protected you just make moves without any doubt.
Being naturally empathetic and sensitive / wanting to help others relax and get away from their day to lives, to do lists and 'have to / obligations'; my fascination with holistic healing and health never went away. Plus a curiosity & passion for finding the truth of his/herstory and what's really gone on to bring us to where we are as a civilization, seems to niggle at me.